By Joshie Jaxon 

Greetings, geeks fans. I come to you today with a heavy heart, and unless you’ve been living under a rock, I’m sure you can guess why. I’m not a political person. I detest politics, campaigning, and the never-ending commercials. I haven’t seen kitty pics or food porn as a regular feature on my timeline in months. It’s been nothing but post after post, and meme after meme about how one candidate was worse than the other. At nearly 35, I’ve lived though several elections, but this one was brutal. I did my best to tune it out, and try to maintain some sense of normalcy in my life. After all, my primary philosophy has always been to not have an opinion what people do with their lives, until or unless it affects mine. Now, while that can hold true most of the time, it was the wrong mentality to have about this election season. Had I seen it coming as a real possibility, I’d have been extremely worried. 

Rightfully so. After all, I’m sure there were many of us that saw him as a joke. There were even some that assumed all of his behavior was taking to the extreme in order to sway things towards Hilary. Whatever the case, we were all wrong, and there’s not a damn thing we can do about it. Like many of you, I was glued to the Internet on Election Day, especially as polls started closing. Any information that would give me a feel for how it was going to turn out. I managed to get through the work day, but I still wanted to check results. It was both good and bad, that is, until the first update I saw had red all over it. I shook my head and dismissed it. It was far too early to be worried. I got home, had some dinner, and attempted to watch tv. I kelp being drawn to CNN, and knowing what the tally was up to. I grew disheartened as I saw more and more red showing up on the electoral map. I attempted to return to what I usually watch, but I couldn’t. It was though part of me knew that the results of this election were too important to ignore. 

I kept texting with Bri Bones, and as things grew tighter and tighter, we both knew what the outcome was going to be. Each of us were positively gobsmacked. There was no way that this man had made it this far, let alone was winning, but there it was on my screen. Even with my limited political knowledge, I knew we’d lost. A pain that cut even deeper as we lost the House and Senate as well. Anderson Cooper, and others echoed my thoughts, “what happened?”. I still don’t have an answer for that. By my logic, you pick the person best qualified for the job, even if you don’t like them. Not everyone likes their boss, but someone has to make the hard calls, and it needs to be someone who can handle it. I’ll never know what made as many people vote for Trump as they did, and that’s probably for the best. I don’t want to know what’s in their minds. What I do know is that we missed out on someone who has been in the political machine for decades, and would’ve continued the progress we’ve enjoyed these last eight years under the Obama administration. She had the popular vote, despite the electoral results. 

The immigration to Canada site crashed as so many people were trying to figure a way out of what was coming. I don’t blame them for wanting to escape. Fighting for your life is exhausting under normal circumstances, now pile on an administration that doesn’t care about you or your peers. I have friends of all colors, sexes, and sexualities. Every single one of them is worried, as am I. The stories I saw being posted on the first day after the unthinkable happened have been upsetting to say the least. From people threatening to grab women by the pussy, cause our soon to be commander in chief did, and if he can they can, to elementary children telling their classmates of color to get ready to be deported. People harassing innocent black people. My trans friends are worried for their very lives. You thought bathroom controversy was bad, I can only imagine what the future will hold. Muslim-Americans question if they should leave the country, or not wearing the scarves of their religion for fear of being assaulted, or worse. It hasn’t even been 24 hours yet, and it’s breaking my heart. If all of that is just a sample, I don’t want to see what happens when he’s sworn in. 

I love my country, and have no desire to leave, but as I stated, fighting is exhausting. I haven’t experienced this level of dread since before, and immediately after, I came out. Despite being in Utah, for the most part, I’ve been lucky enough to be left alone. Most people don’t peg me as gay until I open my mouth and speak. Many of my friends, who I consider family, aren’t as lucky. I don’t know what the future holds, but one thing is clear, we have four years of whatever it is until we get another qualified person in the White House to clean up the mess left by the republicans before them. We’ve survived Stonewall, Prop 8, Pulse, and more, but we’re still here. It is important now more than ever that we unite in our similarities and not be driven apart but the differences. Stay strong, my friends, our fight isn’t in vain.