Top Ten Tuesday – Witches

By Joshie Jaxon

Halleloo, I’m back bitches! I know I haven’t provided a lot a of new content lately, but those who follow our Facebook page know I’ve discovered the joy of memes. I try to at least provide some entertainment for my nerdy gay community. Life has been fun, but time has been limited. Gonna work on getting new entries added. Gotta do what feeds the soul, after all. Speaking of souls, today’s entry features some poor unfortunate souls. I realize that I usually do Top 5 Tuesday, but this list I couldn’t narrow down to five, so you’re getting ten. Without further ado, let the geeks begin!

Witches have been a staple in modern media since it’s inception. Ever since Margaret Hamilton brought the Wicked Witch of the West to life in 1939’s The Wizard of Oz, there have always been some magical misunderstood ladies that just want things to go their way. I know that witches go even further back, I’m looking at you, Salem, but for a friend of Dorothy, I’d much rather be friends with Elphie. Those who’ve followed my past entries know I have an affinity for villains. Such an affinity caused me to leave the “good” witches like the Charmed Ones, Glinda, and Sabrina off my list. While it’s hard to rank them, I’ll do my best. Even as I type this, I’m not certain what my deciding factors will be.

Honorable Mention – Witch Marge

Treehouse of Horror VIII (1997)

Marge is usually a killjoy, but on Halloween episodes she gets to be a little more fun; when she’s not warning the audience about how scary the special will be. Goodie Simpson was thrown to an honorable Christian death in Salem, only to be revealed for the witch she really was. She gets an honorable mention for eating children, turning the chief into a gopher, and for getting a nod to another classic witch by correcting her sisters that his name is Homer, not Derwood.

10 – Endora

Bewitched (1964)

Speaking of Derwood, I’ll start the official list with Endora from Bewitched. She’s fabulous, shady, passive aggressive, powerful, and wears blue eyeshadow. She treats hers son-in-law with the contempt he deserves, at least with modern eyes. For the Sixties, his repression of his wife’s true self was to be expected, as was the cliché hatred of Endora as the meddling mother-in-law. She constantly kept him in his place, as best she could. Her fierceness for her time is what inspired me to name my black cat after her. Witches honor.

9- Magica DeSpell

Duck Tales (1987)

I adored Magica as a kid. No one should’ve been surprised when I came out. Oh wait, almost no one was. This diva duck is always after Scrooge’s number one dime. It’s an ingredient/focus for some of her powerful spells. We know this cause she gets her hands on it now and then. Her crow companion, and total disregard for the Beagle Boys make her a fabulous entry on my list. I plan on dusting off my Duck Tales dvds and giving her another visit soon.

8- Witch Hazel

Bewitched Bunny (1954)

Oh, Witch Hazel. How I adore thee. She’s only in a handful of cartoons, but she’s a delight in each one. That’s why Broomstick Bunny was one of my first Looney Legacy posts. Everything from June Foray’s exceptional voice talents, to her bobby pins when she leaves a room. I can’t think of a better villainess for their world. Well, Bugs in drag could qualify, but he’s far too entertaining. Plus, he’s more hero than villain. Unless you’re a fan of Elmer.

7- Dark Willow

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Seeing Red (2002)

I didn’t like them doing the whole, you’re addicted to magic, thing to Willow. I would’ve loved it if they’d had her doing what she was doing cause she wanted to, as opposed to a lousy drug metaphor. I kind of got what I wanted when Dark Willow came calling. Granted, her lesbian lover had to be killed to do it, but it freed the beast, and allowed her to revel in it for a bit. Now, to be fair, flaying Warren alive was a little darker than I was hoping, but from her added confidence, to her callback to Vamp Willow’s “Bored Now”, to threatening to kick every square inch of Buffy’s ass, I loved her short time on screen. So much so, I went as her for Halloween one year. Gender-bent version, of course.

6-Elvira

Movie Macabre (1981), Mistress of the Dark (1988)

Unpleasant dreams, darlings. Cassandra Peterson is an undead living legend, and oxymoron. She’s got some huge talents, and doesn’t mind showing them off a bit. If I played for another team, I’d find them sexy, but they’re just fun bags to me. Able to twirl tassels in opposite directions, I could leave it there and justify her place on the list, as that is witchcraft. However, I include her, not for her bespelling bosoms, but for her appearance in Mistress of the Dark. Elvira thinks she’s cooking, and summons a monster. She’s not a malicious witch, but since she’s not wholesome, I’m not counting her as good either. Besides, we get the great line “how’s your head?”, “no complaints yet” from her movie. Tens across the board.

5- Rita Repulsa

Power Rangers, Day of the Dumpster (1993)

Here we are, the top 5. Rita has earned her place as the Shangela on my list, cause she just can’t seem to win no matter how hard she tries. No shade, I do love me some Shangie. Rita is a fabulous witch, imprisoned for ten thousand years, only to be freed by accident. She spends a year with bad dub, and fierce eyeshadow, trying to stop teenagers. Failing, getting banished by her boss, coming back, marrying said boss, still failing, fleeing to avoid the Machine Empire, coming back to stake her claim, and, you guessed it, failing again. Her minions give her a headache. Her wand makes things grow. Giggity. You go, space diva.

4- Ursula

The Little Mermaid (1989)

What can I say about Ursula? She’s purple. She’s got drag queen origins. She knows the art of the deal. She’s the total package. The merfolk just didn’t read the fine print, so is she really evil? As people have pointed out, she was nice enough to give Ariel human legs, rather than say, making her a satyr. Ursula just wants to help people, she’s got a whole song about it. Granted, man-stealing so that she can collect her prize is a little low, but again, Ariel didn’t tell her she couldn’t. Ursula is just a victim of bad press, and a broken pole to the abdomen. To be fair, who knows what sort of ruler she’d be? Benevolent? Standard? Metric? The world will never know.

3- Wicked Witch of the West

Wizard of Oz (1939)

I was conflicted on putting Elphie here or the number two spot. Although she did get her own musical, is played by the legendary Idina, not to mention Margaret Hamilton, the Wicked Witch just couldn’t be put at number two. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a fierce diva who only wanted her dead sister’s property back, but she’s just not the icon in my eyes like the top picks are. Now, I love the use of minions, and doing whatever it takes to get what she wants. I’ll even over look the whole “I’m melting… melting…” bit. I just wasn’t a fan of Zelena and how whiny she was portrayed on Once Upon a Time. Unlike my next pick…

2- The Evil Queen

Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (1939)

The second queen to appear in the late 1930’s. Certainly one of the first villains I recall from my youth. Clad in purple, regal, dignified, friends with a crow, obsessed with being number one; how could I not like her? Ok, there’s the heart-carving thing, but what majesty hasn’t abused her power on a whim? I know, I know, most people root for the good guys, but I’m not one of those people. There are rare exceptions. The reason I’ve got her at first runner up is her magnificent display on Once Upon a Time, by Lana Parilla. Loses the love of her life, wants to make the whole kingdom suffer like she has, and lets nothing stand in her way. Again, I know I’m supposed to be on Snow’s side, but I just can’t. We’ve all had that loss that consumed us so deeply we couldn’t help taking it out on others. Regina is the embodiment of that. She’s also redeemed in her arc, but that’s more Lana’s input on her character than how they may have wanted to keep her. In either event, I love the evil queen. Long live Regina!

1- Winifred Sanderson

Hocus Pocus (1993)

Was there any doubt that Winnie would be the top slot, grand diva of the list? She’s been an annual tradition for 25 years. She put a spell on me. She’s got the sarcasm and eye rolls that have become a part of my very being. She takes care of her sisters, since they can’t seem to manage on their own. She just wants to be young and beautiful. So a few kids have to go. They weren’t gonna live past 30 anyways. She was just ending their pre-midlife crisis. Saved them from disease, or being put to work as child labor. She’s a humanitarian. Really, she eats human. Well, their essence, but that’s splitting hairs. She gets a great catchy song to curse the town. She’s played by the divine Bette Midler. Hell, if she hadn’t been bent on revenge against Dani, she wouldn’t have lost. But, it’s Disney, and we can’t have bad guys win for whatever reason. Winnie will always be the witch I root for, even when she’s tricked time and again. Woo hoo, witchy woman.

There you have it, my favorite bad girls. Well, of the magical variety. Did I mention your favorite? Did I miss any one? Feel free to leave a comment. Until next time, stay geeky, and keep gabbing!

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THANOS Theory Still Works

By Joshie Jaxon

Greetings, geek fans! I’ll be quick for now, as I’m waiting to board a flight. However, having seen Infinity War twice in as many days, I need to comment on it. I’ve noticed a lot of people saying that the THANOS name theory for stone locations was broken with Infinity War. It wasn’t. Here’s why.

Everyone assumed it would be Heimdall, what with the orange eyes, and being all-seeing. However, it turned out to be Gamora. Oh no! The internet cried. Our beloved theory! It’s still there. In one of two ways.

First, HERR Schmidt aka Red Skull. You know, from HYDRA!

Complete left field insert that was a pleasant surprise.

Second is Gamora herself. Thanos’ HEIR!

Jaw drop! Gasp! Pearl clutch! That’s right. It was HER all along!

THANOS theory holds up! I have more on Infinity War, but for now it’s time to fly home. Until next time, stay geeky, and keep gabbing!

Avengers – Infinity War trailer, revelations

By Joshie Jaxon

Greetings, geek fans! The Infinity War trailer is finally here, and I’m just delighted. The MCU movies have been a family tradition since the original Thor. My brother and I even flew to Denver when my dad lived there to see the first Avengers movie together. This trailer brought me a lot of joy, on multiple levels. I’m not here to discuss family fun though. I’m here to go over the biggest pieces of info we gain from this amazing trailer. Be warned, there are Ragnarok spoilers involved, so if you haven’t seen it yet, you’ve been warned. I’m gonna do these in random order. Let the geeks begin!

1- Vision

Not only do we get to see the infinity gem getting pulled from his head, we also get to see him as human before it happens. Now, the question of if this is some kind of projection by Vision, or is an effect of Wanda’s powers will be an interesting reveal. Paul Bettany is awesome, and I’m glad he went from the voice of Jarvis to an on screen character. I hope he’s not the first casualty, and there’s a way to preserve Vision as a whole.

2- Loki

Though brief, we get an appearance of my favorite villain, Loki. As anticipated, he has the Tesseract. The real question is if he took it to preserve it, or he’s still got a side gig with Thanos. I’m thinking the first, as he didn’t seem too happy as he presented the cube. Time will tell.

3- Thanos

The mad titan himself. First off, without his helmet, he looks weird. Just throwing that out there. Secondly, the trailer implies he’s able to teleport. Which, while cool, begs the question why he’d need people like Loki and the Collector, assuming they’re on the same side, to gather the infinity gems for him. Speaking of which, how in his long-ass lifetime has he not already gathered at least one of these? We can if we he doesn’t have any, as the gauntlet had been empty the first time we see him put it on. Although, in this trailer we see he has the purple stone, which means he’s visited the Nova Corp before coming to earth.

4- Thor/Banner/Hulk

This one is more banner related than Thor, but still. At the end of Ragnarok Thor, Loki, and Hulk are all on his ship. In the trailer we see Thor meeting the Guardians of the Galaxy, while we primarily see Hulk/Banner on Earth. Now, while I’m glad Banner isn’t gone forever like he feared, I am concerned that he got separated from the others. How he gets back to Earth will be an interesting scene. Does Star Lord given them a lift? Would Hulk, Drax, and Groot have lots to talk about? It’s gonna be fun.

5- Spider-Man

There wasn’t a ton of spider action in this trailer, but there was an important scene where we see him in his “Avengers/Iron Spider” suit. Ready or not, it appears that our dear Mr. Parker was given his upgrade to help defend the world.

6- Winter Soldier/War Machine

I’m a big fan of the Winter Bucky, mostly because I have a think for hunky, damaged, bad boys. See my Loki obsession if you don’t believe me. I was glad to see him out of hibernation and on the front lines, two arms in tow. The second part of those same front lines was the apparent return of War Machine. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I swear he was there with Black Panther and crew, cause that didn’t look like Iron Man to me. Which begs the question why he’d be with them, since Cap’s side is the reason he was hurt. Alright, it was Vision, but he wouldn’t have been shooting if everyone could just get along.

7- The Roster

SO many people in this film! Iron Man, Dr. Strange, Wong, Thor, Loki, Hulk, Spider-Man, Widow, Captain America, Vision, Scarlet Witch, Star Lord, Groot, Gamora, Mantis, Rocket, Winter Soldier, Black Panther, War Machine, Falcon… it’s going to be amazing, and May can’t get here fast enough. What did you think of the trailer? Feel free to comment, and as always, stay geeky and keep gabbing!

Pride Post – No Fatties

By Joshie Jaxon 

Happy pride month, geeks fans! We just had our festival here in Salt Lake City, and I wanted to share my experience. Don’t worry, I’ll be brief. Especially as it’s nearly 2am as I start this piece. Though it’s been on my mind for a few days now. As you can tell from the title, body issues are gonna be brought up. I know I’ve talked on them before, in my far less successful blog, but they came up again, so here we are. Besides, it’s something many of us struggle with, and for some, it’s always on our minds, even if it’s just silently running in the background. 

I’ve attend the pride festival every year since 2001. I even had a booth for my book series a few years ago. Pride for me was always a chance to get out and be among my community, without the safety of a screen to hide behind. It’s a great opportunity to see the various walks of life that make up our LGBT communityas a whole. There’s also plenty of eye candy, as long as the weather is nice; which thanks to fake news, er, climate change, it usually is. The temperature rises, and the amount of clothes people wear lowers. It’s a feast for the eyes, and a personal highlight of the festivities. The main reason for that being the majority of people going around practically naked are the ones you’d associate with the gay community. It’s mostly twinks and the jock/gym gays. The “good-looking” among us that we all secretly aspire to be. Though not bold enough to parade half naked in public, the closest I chose to get was my Joshie Quinn look, sans makeup. I’m confident in my legs. I’m a centaur, we’re good kickers.

Being a bear, those are the people I feel the most comfortable around. I have a different piece planned for da bears, but I’ll touch on them. Giggity. They’re the once facet of the community, aside from the lesbians, that don’t give a damn about size and shape, and celebrate everyone as they are, which is a beautiful thing. I found the local bear booth, and wanted to get a shirt to show my support. Not knowing how it would fit, I asked one of our Chair Bears for a shirt, and without thinking, slipped mine off to try it on. They told me it looked good, and I swapped my original back on. Hugs all around, and I continued with the rest of my day. I got hungry, and found myself in the pizza line with a very muscled bodybuilder. I know this, because during our wait, he mentioned how he was at 12% body fat, and needed to get to four for competition at the end of July. When it was time to order, he said I’d been nice, and bought my slice. Super nice guy. Even though it was odd he wasn’t getting any pizza for himself.

On my way back to Bri, who was waiting in the shade of trees with drinks, I got bumped, and the tip of my pizza slice hit the center of my white shirt. The horror! No tide pen. Not home to pre-treat. I need this shirt to not stain. It’s classic Joshie. I had no choice. I handed Bri my food, and pulled my shirt off. Splashed my water on it, and rubbed so the stain wouldn’t set. It then dawned on me that I was shirtless in public. Fans of the Gab will know that I embraced my body, and generally don’t care about nudity. I am who I am, like it or don’t. However, standing topless in the middle of an event designed to primarily celebrate the gorgeous among us, I felt uncomfortable. Bri asked if I was gonna put my shirt back on, and I decided not to. My logic being, the shirt was still wet, but more importantly, I had to do this for myself. The fact that I thought I had no right to be shirtless among my community made me realize I had to do it, no matter the cost. I had to be able to look at myself in the mirror. 

I kept my shirt off, got some sunscreen, cause I’m a pale, Irish-rooted, vampire, and went back to walking the festival. I was very aware that my shirt was missing. It wasn’t the comfortable feeling I have being nude at home, or even in nature. There was the definite feeling that my community would judge me, and tell me to get dressed. Now, maybe I was merely projecting, but when you see “no fats, no fems, no Asians” on enough profiles, you realize how little the community as a whole wants anyone that isn’t chiseled and perfect. In that regard, I’ve never cared. If you want abs, move on, I’m never gonna have them. I ran into an ex of mine, who pretty much greeted me with the words that this was not a good look for me. I don’t know if it was me without my shirt, or the sparkly shoes and shorts. I didn’t ask. It’s better I don’t know. I did at least one lap of the festival grounds topless. Even got cat-called by my lady boss, which still felt nice to be celebrated for my bravery, as it was. As I wandered, there were others my size that were stripped a bit too, but with rainbow body paint, or #pride on them. I applaud them for being deliberate in their choice. 

I’d like to say that I remained shirtless until I left, but I can’t. I put my shirt back on, and finished out my time. Though I didn’t get any mean comments, or looks that I was aware of, I was still uncomfortable. Even looking back on it, I feel a little anxiety. The real question it left me with, was am I as comfortable with myself as I think I am? I believe so. Hell, I’m naked on the internet in a non “come fuck me” kinda way. Clearly I don’t care who sees me. Then again, it’s the safety of the screen that may shield me from the anxiety. It’s the disconnect that we all have when we get online. It’s what allows us to say and do more than we might in person. I’m glad I had the experience that I did. Overall, I know that I’ll grow as a person because of it. I encourage any of my fellow “fatties” to not be discouraged by the chiseled. Do not let them damage the beautiful people that you are. You’re worth loving exactly as you are, and who you choose to be. Don’t allow their poison to change how you see yourself. If you’re a good person, who doesn’t harm others, you keep doing you. The right people will enter your life, and see you for the hottie that you are, no matter how much padding you may have. 

Until next time, stay geeky, and keep gabbing! 

Top 5 Tuesday – Eliza Dushku

 

By Joshie Jaxon 

Greetings, geek fans! Time for the return of Top Five Tuesday! Today’s countdown, if you couldn’t tell from the title, will be on roles played by the great Eliza Dushku. I’ve enjoyed her in everything I’ve seen her in, and though I have yet to see Tru Calling, I’m sure she’s good in that as well. Let’s get right to the list. Let the geeks begin! 

5- Special Agent Page, Big Bang Theory

First off is a guest appearance. Now, I prefer Eliza as a leading lady, but she did a great job with a relatively small role. Howard, needing clearance to go to the space station, warns his friends that someone will be contacting them. That someone is Agent Page of the FBI. Raj, unable to speak to women unless inebriated, has rum cake, and ends up throwing up on her shoes. Leonard ends up hitting on her. Sheldon, in true Sheldon fashion, bitches about Howard’s shortcomings without really answering any of her questions, and even files a complaint with her superiors. Despite all of this, she remains professional. 

4- Danielle, The New Guy

Second is Eliza’s role as leading lady, and cheerleader in a movie about a geek who transforms himself into a cool kid at a new school. Danielle hangs with him, and he falls for her. He even gets a private bikini shopping montage. Danielle gets her own character arc as well. She does from clique cheerleader, to someone who remembers her old friends, and socialized with them again, much to the surprise of the student body. While not her greatest or classiest role, she gets a great deal of screen time, and brings it the whole time. Speaking of bringing it…

3- Missy, Bring It On 

Third place is actually the second role I originally lived Eliza in. This movie has a special place for me and Bevianna. We watched it on tv during difficult times. That year for X-Mas we got it for each other on DVD. That was a fun round of present opening that year. Despite the fact that when she appears on screen, everyone assumes she’s a dyke, Missy is the same type of character that Eliza usually embodies; strong, independent, and kind of a badass. She becomes friends with Torrance, and even brings a moral compass to the squad, getting them to be original rather than continuing to use the stolen routines they’d be using until she arrived. She’s a worthy costar for the film, and it would have been weaker without her in it. 

2- Echo, Dollhouse 

This was a tough call. I almost put this as number one. I still may declare it a tie for top slot. For those unfamiliar with this particular gem, I strongly suggest you watch it. It’s a simple premise, but has so much depth it almost hurts. A facility full of people who’ve been wiped clean, and can be implanted with any personality or training that the client desires. These “dolls” can be anything from a sex toy, to therapist, to sniper, crook, negotiator, you get the point. It allows Eliza to show a wide range of talents while still giving her “blank self”, Echo, a personality of her own. She is believable in each of the personas she portrays and makes each of them original, rather than just Echo in a whatever outfit. It’s one that I need to watch again, as there’s always something new to find each time. 

1- Faith, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Here we are, the number one slot. It should surprise anyone. I gave Faith the edge for two reasons. First, it’s Buffy’s 20th, and two, that means we’ve had access to this character for 18 years. Faith is the third Slayer we see on the series, and some would argue she’s the best. Granted, her arc in season 3 has her going from Slayer to right hand of the big bad. At first you think she’s just a loose cannon, but when she accidentally kills an innocent, and tells Buffy that she doesn’t care, we see she’s going downhill fast. An attitude of “want, take, have”, gets her quite far. My favorite moment with Faith though is when she returns and switches bodies with Buffy. We then get to see Eliza play the good Slayer. It’s a spectacular performance. Some would say Faith is better as a redeemed character, and good girl. I’m not one of them. Much as I have an affinity for villains/bad boys, I have an affinity for dark Faith as well. Relating to the dark characters gives us a chance to embrace the darkness within, while in the confines of a fictional universe. Want, take, have may work for Faith, but not for Joshie. That doesn’t stop me from loving Faith, Eliza, and the many badass characters she has and will portray. Until next time, stay geeky, and keep five by five. 

FanX 2017 Cosplayers 

By Joshie Jaxon 

Greetings, geek fans! Though FanX was two weeks ago, I promised to get my pics up and Joshie always delivers. Thirty days or it’s free. Wait a tick, they’re all free. This Con marked the return of Joshie Quinn, and the debut of Poison Brivy. I lost count of the people who asked us for pics, as well as the ones who asked where Catwoman was. Several people lit up at the sight of us, saying they didn’t know they needed this in their lives. I sought out other gender bent cosplayers, as well as fellow Bat-villains. One vendor liked my look so much I got a free small Harley print as long as I posed with it. I gladly obliged. It was a great event, and I can’t wait for the next. Without further delay, let’s the geeks begin! 

Genderbent Ivy, Riddler, and Harley

Genderbent Aquaman

Genderbent Aquaman 

Ivy & Ivy

Genderbent Joker & Harley

Genderbent Joker 

Genderbent Rumplestiltskin

Harleen Quinzel & Harley Quinn x2

Batman was super nice

Riddler

Harley & Harley

Bombshell Batwoman

Batgirl

Raven & Robin

Iron Fist

Supergirl & Wonder Woman

Riddler

Mortal Kombat Joker

Riddler

Harley & Joker

Harley x3

Genderbent Joker & genderbent Harley

Poison Ivy

Catwoman

Batman & Robin

Joker

Aquaman

Bombshell Harley

Dr. Strange

Sesame Street realness

Prof. X & Beast

Happy little trees, er, Bob Ross

Maleficent & Aurora

Genderbent Sasuke & genderbent Naruto

Green Arrow

Jubilee & Black Cat

Cloud, Aerith, Squall

Mario Kart

Genderbent Starlord

Genderbent Triforce Heroes

Genderbent Doctor Who

Akatsuki

Genderbent Mario, Luigi, and Waluigi

Agent Carter

Emma Frost & Old Man Logan 

Gambit

Supergirl & Superman

Genderbent Loki & Thor

Sixties Batman

Bugs & Daffy

I am Groot!

Villains of the Universe

Quailman 

Genderbent Aquaman 

My little ponies 

Genderbent Riddler, Black Cat

Starfire & Raven 

Genderbent Joker & Harley

Genderbent Hades

Supergirl & Robin

Zelda & Link

Iron Fist & Zero Suit Samus

Peter & MJ

Evil Queen

Kingpin

Han Solo & Storm

Genderbent Captain America 

Courage cosplay

Disney Princess eleganza

Genderbent Quicksilver

Gambit & Rogue 

Scarlet Witch

Cupid & Genderbent Loki

There was so much detail on apocalypse Ash I had to take two pics

Captain Lantern

So many put so much effort into their looks, it gave me life! If you ever get a chance to attend a Comic Con event, go, you won’t be disappointed. If you’re dying to unleash your inner geek, this is a safe haven. Until next time, stay geeky, and keep gabbing!