-by Bevianna Bones

Growing up, I had lots of character crushes, who at the time I thought was just me wanting to be like them, and there was none greater than that of Tank Girl. Rebellious, punk, independent, smartass, sarcastic, anarchist, badass, hot girl who played with tanks and guns, and drank beer…what’s not to like. She sounds an awful lot like me.  Me in my teenage years especially.

I would however worn a dog collar instead of a candy necklace, but let’s not nitpick the details

Maybe that’s why the usual idolization I had for my character crushes turned into that funny tingling feeling and moist loins I couldn’t quite understand when I saw Lori Petty playing her on the big screen. Damn she was hot. And did a great job portraying her, for she too, pretty much embodied the Tank Girl spirit.

Tanks, guns, beer, and legs a mile long..oh my

It was actually a terrible movie, but I kept watching it over and over again. I just couldn’t get enough of her.  You can ask my wifemate what women in uniform packing heat can do for me.  Maybe it also had a bit to do with an underlying sapphic tone between her and her aircraft fixin’ pilot pal.

I’m betting that she calls her, Sir…

It probably helps the little crush along that Lori Petty actually is a legit lez. Imagine my excitement, nearly twenty years later, to hear that she was going to be at comic con. I was so excited to have her autograph my Tank Girl DVD.  Sadly, there are things that you wish you could unsee; her in the flesh, after a not so kind twenty years, was one of them.  But my heart takes solice in knowing that digital images never fade, and I’ll always have my Tank Girl of the nineties.

-BB