By Joshie Jaxon
Marriage isn’t something that I ever thought would happen for me in my life. Growing up in Utah, I was certain that various versions of hell would have to freeze over for gays/lesbians to be able to legally wed one another. Well, it must be 31 degrees there, because today the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) ruled marriage equality legal in all 50 states. Those of you in triad relationships, I’m not 100% what, if anything, this will do for you, but I support you as much as I would any couple consisting of two people. Love is love. Today I’ve been thinking about what marriage equality means to me.
I’ll spare you the particulars of my childhood, but needless to say, I never had a positive example of marriage growing up. Divorce, broken homes, and on again off again relationships where the sight I was most familiar with. As such, I don’t think I have the most positive outlook on marriage and relationships. I go into them, not expecting them to fail, but not being surprised when they do. I know that makes me a jaded cynic, and I accept that about myself. However, I am also working to overcome that mentality. I believe that with enough hard work, and fights both big and small, that a relationship can be forged to last.
I’m still on the fence about marriage though. As long as two people love each other, and are together because they want to be, I see no reason that the law needs to come in and validate it with a piece of paper. On the flip side, I see all the legal rights and benefits that marriage offers to a spouse, and that is something that so many of us need. Many in our community have illness, and I’m not just referring to HIV/AIDS; cancer, diabetes, heart conditions, you name it. We all deserve to have our lover present for our suffering, and to try and sooth it, and make us feel better. After all, if they love us enough to put up with all of our shit, they deserve some federally recognized benefits for that. Can I get an amen up in here?
Is it possible to be both a cynic, and a romantic? I believe so. While life experience has mostly shown me that relationships are doomed to fail, my heart believes that they are worth the effort. Despite being heartbroken, scalded, and downright burned by love, I still choose to work towards it. Someday, I may have a full-on wedding of my own. I hope to go into it with a lighter heart, and continuing to work towards its success, rather than waiting for its failure. All I know for sure, is that thanks to SCOTUS, I have that chance in any state that I choose, and that makes me proud to be a part of this county. In the words of RuPaul, “Everybody say Love!”