-by Bevianna Bones
Happy Mothers Day readers!! As you spend the day in celebration of all the motherdears out there, let us take a moment to reflect on my top five memorable movie mommies. The kind that really are exemplary of what it takes to be held dearest in one’s heart. Motherdear, this one’s for you…
5. Mama Fratelli/Elenor Crisp
Nope that’s not the gun in betty lou’s handbag…stop! (or my mom will shoot!) These ladies are really packing heat! This pair of gun toting mom’s are Astoria’s finest, and their son’s will do just about anything for mommy. Just don’t ask her to take a second trip to the zoo, because she’s not so tough without her car.
4. Mrs. Voorhees
Never has there been a mommy looking out for her little boy as much as Mrs. Voorhees. After little baby JJ drown in Crystal Lake, she took down all the youngsters who went out there to “camp.” Talk about a virgin alarm!
3. Norma Bates
The first of our mommies on the list that is looking out for the purity of our youth, Norma keeps her son on the straight and narrow with volumes of indespensible advice. You’ve got to kill her Norman…she’s a whore!! Best not take any showers while she’s home.
2. Margaret White
Our other mommy forever looking out for the morality of the youth; Madge is always sharing the kinds of real life guidance that is so special between a mother and a daughter. Keep those dirty pillows covered; and those pimples are a great way to stay chaste. Now go to your closet because they are all laughing at you.
1. Joan Crawford
Christina! Bring me the axe!! All the moms on this list can’t compare with the dearest mommy of them all, batshit crazy with a heart full of love. What’s that? Leave us alone Barbara…we’re having a conversation. Bottom line is don’t fuck with her fellas, but if you do, remember she’s not mad at you, she’s mad at the dirt.