–by Joshie Jaxon

Dragonball Z is the continued adventures of Goku, from Dragonball. I personally didn’t get into DBZ until the Cell Saga, so for me, looking at the older stuff can be a little hard at times, because I know who lives/dies/returns. I try to suspend that knowledge for you, dear readers. I’m not gonna be the guy shouting, it was his sled. Rosebud is a sled. Dammit. Spoiler alert. I should just delete that. Nah. Where was I? Oh yes. Despite starting in the Cell Saga, I’ve since gone back and watched from the beginning sagas on. As well as some of the original Dragonball, and all of Dragonball GT. As a cartoon/anime/manga geek, you can trust that I’ll continue to bring you quality material, from experience drawn on several media formats. On with the show!

Like any good series premier, we get some voiceover. This time, a slight recap from Dragonball. Five years have passed since Goku and his friends saved the world from the evil King Piccolo. Since he was defeated it has been an era of rebuilding, healing, prosperity, and peace. Unknown to them, a new threat is hurling through space, to bring the era of peace to a crashing end. Damn that’s good stuff. It’s sets everything up so that newcomers don’t feel left out, but doesn’t drone on so that the hardcore fans get bored.

Chi-Chi is calling out for Gohan, saying it’s time to come home. In the woods, Goku is selecting a tree. We see him punch it, and it topples to the ground. Next we see him carrying it home. Hey, Chi-Chi, check out my massive wood. She has, that’s how they got Gohan. Speaking of which, where is he? Neither of them knows. Parent of the year award goes to…? Joan Crawford? Really? Well, at least she knew where Tina was at all times, unlike these two. Oh well. Maybe next year. Chi-Chi tells him to take Nimbus to find Gohan. They don’t wanna be late to Master Roshi’s.

Pink emu farm. A farmer bales hay into the back of his truck. He sees something streaking through the sky, and crash. He’s so dumbfounded that his cigarette just hangs in his open mouth. Side note, I’m sure that was edited out in the broadcast, since most references to sex/drugs/alcohol are, but as these are uncut DVDs I get to see a random farmer enjoy his bad habit. Who says uncut things aren’t fun? Anyhow, the farmer drives himself closer to the wreckage. I’m sorry, something crashes, I’m going in the opposite direction. It’s never good.

This is no exception. The farmer realizes this isn’t a meteor, since it’s metal. It opens, and Raditz emerges. Raditz is serving up the biggest hair in series history, until SS3 Goku years from now, as well as shoulder pads, hip pads, fur belt, mid calf boots, and a garter. He floats up to ground level, and the farmer tells him that he’s trespassing. Raditz checks his scouter, and determines the farmer to be weak. When the farmer shoots at him, Raditz catches the bullet, and flings it right back. He detects a strong power level in the distance and takes off. Prepare yourself, Kakarot! What’s a Kakarot?

Gohan is crying in the forest. He misses his daddy, and wants to go home. He’s got such watchful parents. He chases after a giant butterfly. He just wants to look at it. If only the tree had an elevator. His request, not mine. He gives up and wanders off, running into a sabertooth cat. It snarls, and drools. Gohan must be tasty. Gohan decides to try playing dead. Ol’ saberfang licks him, ravages his hat, and takes off with it. Gohan’s hat has the four star dragonball on it. Since they don’t cover what the dragonballs are for newcomers, I’ll quickly explain. Gather all seven together, and you get a wish from the great dragon, Shenron. The four star ball was a gift to Goku from his grandpa Gohan, whom the little crier is named for. Little Gohan chases the saberkitty to get his hat back. In his chase, he runs himself right off a cliff, and I presume passes out from the fall.

He wakes up hanging from a branch by his tail. Oh yeah, he’s got a tail. They really want you to have watched the original, and don’t explain the whole tail thing either. Goku had one as a kid. It’s been cut off, so he doesn’t go apeshit. Literally. Being his son, Gohan has a tail too. Goku still can’t find his son. Gohan continues to whine, and wander. He finds a pretty bird, and tries to talk to it. He ends up falling in a river, and calls for his mommy and daddy to save him. Not gonna happen kid. They don’t know where you are.

Goku finds the cat in the hat, and asks where he got it. His tone gets less friendly on the second request, and kitty gets scared. Short version, Goku gets the hat. Meanwhile, Gohan is rolling, rolling, rolling down the river. Goku finally spots him, and after the mandatory near save, followed by a chase, and obligatory waterfall, cause, yeah, father, son and hat are reunited.

Elsewhere, Raditz is flying over a city. It’s worth noting that there are several animal citizens there. As in anthropomorphic bears and such. It’s the norm, and no one seems to care. I know there’s relevance there, I just don’t recall when. Raditz calls the people miserable vermin. In the mountains, Piccolo can sense a strong power approaching. It can’t be Goku. Raditz lands, and apologizes for dropping in. He’s looking for Kakarot, and thought based on power, that Piccolo was him. Piccolo tells him to get lost. Oh, he’d like that. Raditz tells him that his power level is only 322. There’s no way he’s an earthling. Piccolo doesn’t want any trouble, too bad Raditz does. Piccolo hits Raditz with his strongest blast, and he doesn’t even flinch. Raditz is ready to retaliate when he detects a power level that must be Kakarot. He leaves Piccolo in one piece, and follows his scouter to what must be the largest power level on the planet. Piccolo is shaken by the encounter.

Raditz talks to himself as he flies. Have you forgotten your pride, Kakarot? We’re Saiyans, the mightiest warriors in the universe. He can still remember them sending him to Earth as an infant. They had high hopes for him. Why hasn’t he completed his mission? Kakarot!

The voiceover tells us that in Raditz search for Kakarot, he found Piccolo,  one of the strongest fighters on the planet, will he find Goku next? Next episode, Goku will discover the secrets of his past. That seems like a spoiler, but perhaps it’s unrelated. I don’t know anything. It’s my first time. Yeah, I’m not buying it either. I bet I say that to all the boys. I’ll just leave you with what I assume it a bad translation, or a possible innocent statement I’m taking dirty, that’s in the credits.

Seriously, I think Raditz needs to wash his junk. Goodnight everybody! 

-JJ