Glorious Girls of Gaming – Tifa Lockhart

-by Bevianna Bones

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Bartender. Martial Artist. Anarchist. Ametuer Photographer. Babysitter of the year. Professional Piner. Glorious Tatas. Pin-up girl of the cyber generation. I’m talking of course about my favorites lady of the Final Fantasy universe, Tifa Lockhart. 

Purveyor of Tifa’s 7th Heaven, the hippest tavern in the Sector 7 Slums of Midgar, Tifa is always there to open a door to your rebel faction. She will babysit your children, and even allow them to run the bar while you attend to your business of anarchy. She will hold you to any and all promises you made in your childhood. She also works part-time as tour guide and souvenir photographer in Nibleheim.

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Although she was once beaten out of becoming the newest bride of Don Corneo by a homely blonde girl, she still can be found poking around the Honey Bee Inn from time to time. Or so they say. She will smash and grind things if one is not careful. No need for speculation.

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All joking aside, I sincerely do heart our dear miss Lockhart. She is one of the first females we find in the role-playing genre that not only can keep up with the boys when taken to full limit break status, she can open up a can of whoop-ass. No longer were female characters doomed to be the weakling healer you were forced to keep in your party!! That job was saved for Aerith.

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She is one of the most popular FF characters amongst angsty teenage girls, inspiring loads and loads of bad fanfic. Not since the last time a teenage girl sat in her bedroom quietly listening to Taylor Swift songs by candlelight and drawing pictures of Marius and Eponine together at last has there been such inspiration. 

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Tifa/Cloud/Zack, Tifa/Aerith, Tifa/Barret, and may the gods help us, even Tifa/Nanaki and  Tifa/Pussypuff (otherwise known by the given names Red XIII and Cait Sith respectivly.) Examples of such found below.

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Alternatively, she is equally as popular with the male gaming sector, because she has awesome combat skills.

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Eat your Lockhart out Lara Croft!!

*I would have inserted another horrible fanfic picture here, unfortunately doing and image search involving the aforementioned grouping of words lead to things unsuited to be published on this website*

Tifa has appeared in numerous games outside of FF7. She had appearance in the FF7 prequels Crisis Core, and Before Crisis; as well as briefly in Dirge of Cerebus.  She is an unlockable fighter in Ehrgeiz, Kingdom Hearts II, and even has DLC as a character model for Little Big Planet 2.

Next time you fire up your PHS and are thinking about taking a party out to the Gold Saucer for the Chocobo races, ditch the bitch in the pink dress and take my girl Tifa along; one of the strongest, hottest, independent chicks in gaming.

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-BB

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Glorious Girls of Gaming – Eiko Carol

by Joshie Jaxon

Glorious Girls of Gaming – Eiko Carol

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Now, before I even start, I know what you’re thinking; Joshie, Eiko isn’t glorious, she’s just a stupid kid. Give me a few moments of your time, and I’m sure I can make a believer out of you. If not, I apologize in advance for wasting your time. We good? Alrighty then.

It’s true that Eiko doesn’t have the leading lady appeal of Aerith, Rinoa, or Garnet. She doesn’t have a royal title like Peach or Zelda. Eiko most likely will never hold her own series spanning three decades like Samus. Why then am I devoting my post, and your valuable time, to her, instead of one of the ladies listed above? The answer is simple, I feel for her.

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When we meet Eiko, she is the only citizen of Madain Sari, the lost village of summoners. She lives alone, with only moogles to keep her company. Kupo! Sorry, had to. Eiko is only six years old, and is living on her own. She knows how to cook, and take care of others, despite her young age. Yes, she’s a bit clingy, and kind of a brat, but she’s had to rely on herself. She has no parents, or grandparents to teach her right from wrong. Again, it’s just the moogles.

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She steals from the citizens on Conde Petie, and you can’t really blame her. She has no way to earn money, as the Outer Continent has no real job market for a six year old. At least I assume there are child labor laws, I could be wrong, although the shopkeepers of FF IX all seemed to be adults. When she meats Zidane and the others, she is so starved for human contact, wait, is Zidane human, he has a tail, is he saiyan, never mind, she takes the party to her village and tries to make friends, and even get a boyfriend. Again, raised by moogles. Not exactly her fault. All she knows is their love, kupo!

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Even though she is only six, the kid has power. She’s able to summon four different Eidolons on her own. Not only that, but when she combined her power with Garnet’s, they were able to call Alexander, which was strong enough to stand up against Bahamut. She gladly stands with her newfound friends to defend the world from Kuja. Not just power, she’s got guts.

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As I mentioned, Eiko speaks to me, as I’m sure she does to a part of all of us. Look past the surface, and there is a scared child that just wants somewhere to belong. A person or a place to make us feel safe, and to call home. Even when we find a group of friends, are we ever able to truly connect, or do we wander, alone in a crowd, the sole member of our kind? Longing to find another like us, but knowing we never might. As Eiko says, “I don’t wanna be alone anymore.” She has the strength to keep looking, and finds friends greater than what she could have imagined, and to me, that’s pretty glorious.

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-JJ