Conan the Adventurer – The Night of Fiery Tears

  

By Joshie Jaxon 

Greetings, geek fans! I started this post, and never actually finished it. I do the same thing with my gaming as well. I suffer from shiny kitten syndrome, and bad impulse control. Don’t worry, I always finish what I start, it just takes some time. I’ll dive right in with my original opening paragraph. Let the geeks begin! 

Conan, the mightiest warrior ever! His quest: to undo the spell of living stone cast upon his family by driving the evil serpent men back into another dimension and vanquishing their leader, the cruel wizard, Wrath-Amon. Once again, great voiceover. However, this was during the opening song. Kinda gives a major plot spoiler, but it does also give us his motivation, so I’m torn. Either way, we’ve got yet another show about a beefy man with a sword, who wears nothing but a cape, loincloth, earrings, and a necklace. Accessories are a girls best friend. 

   

We open with Conan and his grandpa on a campout of manly bonding. Gramps is telling a story of knights. Conan hears the rumble of horse hooves, and wonders if it’s the knights. Gramps tells him it’s a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plain. Conan says one day it won’t be horses, it will be knights, and he’ll lead them into battle. That’s right Christie, keep telling yourself that. Gramps looks to the sky and says it’s crying tears of fire. No, that’s meteorites. They start to crash into their campsite, and the two take off. They reach the edge of a cliff, and Conan says they have to jump. Gramps says he’s too old, and to leave him. Conan throws the old man on his back, tells him to hang on and leaps over the edge. He and gramps manage to make it to the other side. The fiery tears continue to rain down. Inexperienced boy that he is, Conan is running out in the open, while gramps seeks shelter and tries to get him to it. The meteor shower ends, and Conan goes to investigate a nearby crater. There’s a glowing rock inside that turns out to be made of metal; star metal. It’s worth pointing out that something fiery that just fell from the sky, and is made of what I’d assume is hot metal right now, was able to be picked right up without it burning. If Conan’s hands are already that calloused, I’d hate to see what his poor penis looks like after whacking off. This is an era with no lotion or lubrication, after all. 

   

Elsewhere, in a penis-shaped tower near a pyramid, a snake creature with arms is freaking the eff out about the sky falling and them all being doomed. Wrath-Amon tells Dregs that it’s only a few stars falling. Oh, is that all? Whew. It’s not like it’s not ancient Cimmerian, and they have google and science to tell him everything is ok. Fiery chunks falling out of the sky, not so good for dinosaurs, so let the little snake thing have his chicken little/henny penny moment. The black ring on Wrath-Amon’s hand starts to glow. He says that Set is summoning him, and he must go to the pyramid at once. 

  

Back in Conan’s village, he brings the last haul of star metal to his father, the blacksmith. Daddy says he and Conan will make weapons and tools like no man has ever seen. Mama says they’ll fetch a fine price at the merchant gathering next year. Conan is concerned about selling all of it. Daddy says that he’ll save some, star fighter. A name that implies he’s gonna fight stars, not fight with power from the stars. Oh well. 

In the pyramid, things are about to get freaky. Wrath-Amon approaches a giant snake statue, says he heeds Sets’ call, and uses the power of the black ring to open the sparkly red portal between worlds. He bids set to enter, that he may hear his commands. There’s a bit of lightning from the portal, and the snake statues eyes open. Set says he’s waited for these stars to fall for thousands and thousands of years, and that his liberation is at hand. Dregs is clinging to Wrath-Amon’s leg as he asks how that’s possible. Set says the stars are made of the same metal as the black ring. Set orders Wrath-Amon to build him seven great pyramids, with a disc of star metal atop each one. Only then can he be permanently freed from the Abyss, and enslave the Earth. Bottom line – Megalomaniacal snake deity wants to be free and rule us all. Everyone following along so far? Good. 

  

In the forge of blacksmithy goodness, daddy-Conan is putting the final strikes on a sword before cooling it. He says he will make no other swords from the star metal, as none could compare with what he just made. He tells Conan that it’s his sword, but he has to earn it. That’s right, daddy. Don’t just give it to me, make me earn it. Daddy takes him to the top of a mountain, and uses his barbarian strength to lift a stone lid off an altar. Conan is ordered to place the stone inside, and he can have the sword when he’s ready. Conan says he’s man enough now. Daddy tells him to prove it, and forces him to his knees to- Hey, they’re all muscled and in furry loincloths, I’m only human. What so you mean, “they’re animated”? I had no idea. I though I was watching real life this whole time. It’s a joke, people. Pull up your pants, and stay with me. Despite being young, Conan struggles to get it up. The stone lid, that is. Conan collapses against it, and his father laughs at him, stating a few years of working the forge will give him the muscles he needs. Working other things will also build up your arm strength.  

  

The time of the merchant gathering is upon us! That’s right, a year has already passed. Daddy-Conan is busy selling his wares. He tells his customers that they were made from stars that fell from the sky, that they’ll never dull, and can cut through anything. He’s given four gold coins for a dagger, as a shady character watches the transaction. Daddy asks where Conan is. Mama says he’s gone to see the horses. Actually, he’s strutting through town, looking like a beefcake centerfold. He sees some men struggling with a horse. No, it’s not a donkey show. One of the men draws a small crossbow, and Conan picks him up, calling him a coward. Conan cuts the black horse free and it runs off. The man turns his sights on Conan, saying he’ll pay. He fires his arrow, but manages to only hit a barrel of wine. Daddy-Conan comes running up and says that’s his son. The man say that he stole his horse. Daddy says he set loose a wild creature, and the man has no claim. He then destroys his crossbow. 

Meanwhile, shady character is sniveling before Wrath-Amon, telling him that the blacksmith had said his goods were made of stars. Wrath-Amon asks where to find the blacksmith. The weasel says in the northern mountains, where the Cimmerians life. Wrath-Amon orders his chariot prepared. 

  

In the soon to be doomed Cimmerian village, Conan and gramps are walking. Gramps says he can see the wanderlust is Conan’s eyes, and knows he’ll be leaving the village soon. He offers Conan a necklace he’d won in a battle against the Stygians, doing his best Liz Taylor he says it’s always brought him luck. In the night sky, a snake head shaped chariot, pulled by two-legged winged dragons descends. Gramps says it’s Wrath-Amon, and that his evil is legend. Wrath-Amon demands to see the blacksmith. Conan says he needs his sword, and gramps tells him to hurry. Wrath-Amon tells daddy to give him every piece of star metal he has. Daddy says he sold it all. He’s called a liar. Wrath-Amon says there must be more and to bring it out or he’ll tear the village apart piece by piece. The black ring glows, and he blasts a nearby hut. 

At the altar in the mountains, Conan struggles again to get the lid off. All that time worrying about his size, and he never bothered to work on his technique. Or, maybe think of a way to use leverage. Oh well. He grunts, and sweats, and power lifts it off. He takes and inch or so out of the sheath, pushes it back in, and heads back to the village. Maybe he did research technique. 

Daddy says that they’ll get nothing from him. Wrath-Amon says that he’ll make an example of him, with the spell of living stone. Gramps and Mama approach, and the smoke-filled sphere is tossed. All three of them are turned to stone. Not walking around, living, stone. Stone-stone. Statue-stone. That spell is a bit of an exaggeration. Unless “living stone” just means they’re alive, and aware of what’s going on, but are too stoned to do anything about it. I know, I’m terrible. 

   

Conan draws his sword, raising it above his head in full He-Man ripoff, and tells the wizard he’ll see who laughs last. Upon seeing the star metal sword, Wrath-Amon’s minions are ordered to retrieve it. However, upon getting close to it, the minions are revealed to be serpent men. Crom! After slicing through the enemies swords, Conan goes for a helm splitter, but this is the early 90’s and we have to think of the children, so the blade stops before connecting, and a portal opens above the minion before turning him into sparkles, and sending him through it, leaving his armor to fall to the ground like he was raptured. Conan dispatches the second serpent man and says snakes or men, nothing will stop him! Wrath-Amon knows discretion is best, and attempts to flee. Conan grabs the back of the chariot as it takes off. He climbs aboard and takes a swing. Wrath-Amon uses his X-23 claws to stop it, but the proximity to the sword causes him to be revealed as a serpent as well. He tells Conan that those who see the true face of Wrath-Amon must perish, and kicks him from the chariot. Conan shouts that he will find him! Wrath-Amon says he’ll destroy him first! 

  

Morning finds Conan kneeling before his family. He swears to Crom, guardian spirit of their tribe, that he will not rest until they are restored to flesh and blood. Again, that assumes such a thing can be done. I presume “living stone” means they can be restored to life from stone. Some villain, having a way to undo his evil deeds. Pansy ass, snake man. As Conan leaves the village he sees a heard of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plain. What? The last time I took this test they said the pictures could be whatever I wanted. Conan calls out to the horse he freed at market, and it stops for him. Then, without even asking permission, or knowing the horse’s status, Conan just bare backs him. He offers to call the horse Midnight, and is promptly thrown off. The same thing happens with Mighty Avenger. Thunder meets with a happy neigh, and they take off. A short time later they reach the entrance to the city. Thunder hits the breaks, and throws Conan off. Neigh means neigh. As Conan gets to his feet, a man in a blue cloak appears, telling him what he seeks isn’t there. Conan asks how the man knows his name. The man says he knows a lot of things, like the star metal sword, and about Wrath-Amon. Conan is instructed to go to the tomb of Epimetrius the sage, and the sign of the Phoenix will show him the way. Conan / Jean Grey crossover? Nah!

  

Next we see Conan riding a saddled and bridled Thunder. I think we’re supposed to infer that he bought them in the city. As they reach the mountains, Conan wonders how he’ll find the tomb. The clouds part, and cast a bird-like shadow on the mountainside. Conan looks for an entrance, but as is customary, he doesn’t find it until he stops looking. Then he tumbles into the tomb, where a torch is already burning. A four-armed rock creature, assumed to be the tomb guardian, decides to battle Conan. Why the guardian isn’t outside the tomb is beyond me. Conan cuts off two of this arms, and then splits him into rumble. He actually quips about being off to a rocky start. Blue cloak appears, and Conan wonders how he got there before him. Blue cloak just walks right through him. Conan calls him a ghost. Blue cloak says he’s the ghost of Epimetrius the sage, and this is his tomb. He tells Conan that it is the time of humans vs serpent men, and Conan is destined to be humanities greatest champion against the serpents of Set. 

Epimetrius says that thousands of years ago Set was ready to take over the world, but all the wizards gathered together and used their powers to banish him into the Abyss. His serpent men still walk among them, waiting for the return of their master. Conan says if Set is trapped, he shouldn’t be able to return. Epimetrius says that the star metal can set him free, so it must never fall into the wrong hands, like Wrath-Amon. Conan says his family was turned to stone, and asks if the spell can be undone. Blue cloak tells him that if he destroys Wrath-Amon’s black ring the spell will be broken. Before Conan can leave, Epimetrius says he’ll need a companion, and starts telling Needle to wake up. There’s a shield on the wall with a Phoenix emblem on in, but nothing live. The sage shouts at Needle to wake up this instant, explaining to Conan that he’s a fledgling Phoenix, only a hundred years old. The shield glows, and Needle emerges. He flies around and looks at Conan. Needle says he does want to go with big, dumb, barbarian. Epimetrius says if he doesn’t do many good deads, he’ll never grow up. Needle doesn’t care, and would rather sleep, so he returns to his shield. The sage tells Conan that he’ll come around, and to offer him a pomegranate. Most importantly, keep Needle a secret. Conan says he doesn’t want him. Blue cloak says he could always use a sturdy shield. In fact, it once belonged to a King of Atlantis. 

  

Back at the python pyramid, Wrath-Amon is telling Set how the star metal touched the serpent men and they vanished. Set says they were sent to the Abyss, and are trapped with him. He orders Wrath-Amon to get him the star metal, and to bring him Conan. 

Conan reaches another city, and assumes Thunder won’t follow him in there either. He leaves him, saying he’ll return after he’s finished with Wrath-Amon. Inside the city, there’s a pomegranate vendor, and Needle leaves the shield to go get one. Conan tells him he’s supposed to be a secret, and that he hasn’t any money to but him a pomegranate, but he will once he gets a job. Needle reminds him that he owes Needle a pomegranate, as he returns to the shield. A woman approaches Conan saying she heard him say he needs a job, and asks if he can sail. He says sure, despite not having an experience. She offers to take him to the inn to discuss the details, and to eat. At the inn, we see Conan finishing his food, and promptly pass out into it. A man emerges saying he thought the potion would never work. The lady says she gave him enough to put a bull to sleep. He says their master, Wrath-Amon will be pleased. Cut to Conan waking up on a Stygian slave ship, having to row for his life. Credits. 

  

There ya have it, yet another muscled man with a sword. Not that I’m complaining. No wonder we have so many gays now. Until next time, stay geeky, and keep gabbing! 

Pride Post – Monogamy, Poly, and Gays! Oh my! 

  

By Joshie Jaxon

Greetings, geek fans! As fans of our site know from our Pride Post on Apps, and etiquette, I’ve been back in the dating pool for a few months now. Today we’ll be discussing things that may challenge your current view on love and relationships. For the record, I’m not attacking, judging, or pushing any particular lifestyle. I’ve had time to reflect on myself, as well as observe things I’ve noticed during my looking for love adventures. I’m going to share some of those observations, as well as some personal info on yours truly. To those who ask why I share what I share, I feel it helps our community to know we’re not alone in our thinking or experiences. As always, my goal is to entertain as well as educate. Let the geeks begin! 

   

As seen in the picture above, there are several options that one is able to select when listing relationship status on certain apps. I’m gonna touch on some, but not all of them. Mostly the ones that I have personal experience or knowledge about. Let’s start with the first, and most obvious, Single.

Single is fairly self-explanatory. You are one person, searching for another. If you’re single, you’ve either never had a relationship, or you’ve been in one and it ended for whatever reason, some of which were included as status options. Widowed, Divorced, or Separated, the fact is the same, you no longer have that special someone in your life. Personally, I don’t see the reason to use those three, short of the fact that it does provide a certain amount of information for the people who may be browsing your profile. You don’t have to explain that you lost the person you held dear. It says that you’ve been through, and may not be over, a tough time. Back to the singles though. Most of us are in committed relationships with our tv shows, games, cats, hands, toys, and for whatever reason, we decide we need actual human companionship. That can either be because we’re horny, and in search of sex, which is fun, but can get old. Don’t get me wrong, sex is a part of life, but it isn’t the reason we couple up with people. Ultimately, we all want a campion that we enjoy and who enjoys us. It isn’t that we no longer love our hand/fleshlight/dildo/vibrator, but we want more. I’ve spent the majority of my out adult life, single, and I can say from experience, we as single people want someone to share our lives with. To no longer feel lonely. We want to have a person that enjoys the same things we do, challenges our point of view, or can teach us new things, allowing each of us to grow as a person in a way we wouldn’t have on our own. 

  

The rest of the categories can get a little tricky, so I’ll break them down into specifics. We’ll start with the one that everyone usually has the most experience with, Monogamous Relationships. 

Monogamy is something that we learn subconsciously from a young age. We have mommy and daddy, mommy-mommy, daddy-daddy, or what have you, but we know that they are there for each other, and pending affairs or divorce, they’re the only ones we ever see each of them with. Tv, books, movies, all show the same thing, happy couples that have finally found “the one”. It teaches us that we should be looking for the one for us, and our lives may not be complete without them. Generally that lesson is geared more to (heterosexual) women than anyone else, but it’s still there. You find the one, you date, you become exclusive, you get engaged, and eventually married. Through this entire process, you maintain your fidelity, and never stray. After all, that’s what we’re taught. If you slip up and get any on the side, you are judged as scum for not following what society has decreed normal behavior. I’ve had relationships where we each were monogamous the entire time, some where he cheated on me, and I’ll admit, some where I cheated on him. I’m not proud of it, and won’t go into too much detail. I will say that I was in an unsatisfactory, and somewhat abusive relationship that had left me physically and emotionally starved. I had a very platonic hug with a friend and it gave me an erection. Later, with someone else, I was given the chance to cheat, and I did. I had needs that weren’t being met, and had to do what was right for me. Monogamy can work, but it isn’t for everyone, and that’s ok. The rest of these aren’t for everyone either. 

  

This leads to our next option, Open Relationships. In an Open Relationship, you’ve found a person to be a couple with, but you’re still allowed to sleep with other people on the side. The difference between this and cheating, is that both halves of the couple are aware of the arrangement, and it applies to each of them, not just the man. These relationships tend to confuse the majority of people. It’s hard to comprehend that both members of a couple would be ok with their partner sleeping around. This isn’t a relationship I have personal experience with, but as anyone that has watched the US version of Queer as Folk will tell you, that’s the sort of relationship that Brian and Justin had. Each of them are committed to each other romantically, but can go get laid on their own, or together. Having the occasional threesome can be fun, and allow you to keep your relationship interesting, or try to keep it from dying, but it is distinctly different from the next relationship type I’m gonna cover, Triads. 

As the name suggests, a Triad is a relationship consisting of three people. Unlike an open relationship, a Triad consists of three individuals that are committed to each other exclusively. I’ve never been in a Triad myself, and don’t personally know anyone who currently is. I did once, but their relationship imploded, and one was forced out. For the sake of their privacy, that’s all I’ll disclose about the situation. Their story isn’t mine to tell. What is mine to tell falls under the last category, but isn’t one listed from the picture above, Polyamorous Relationships. 

  

Polyamory is another of the misunderstood “alternative lifestyles” out there. A Polyamorous Relationship is one where each member of a couple may have their own secondary relationships in addition to their main one, if not more. People often mistake it as an open door where anyone can come and go as they please, or people just want to sleep around. That isn’t how it’s been in my experience, or the experience of the people I know. Yes, relationships can be added or subtracted, but it isn’t w/o the knowledge of the others involved. A Polyamorous Relationship can be more complicated than the others, as it has the potential for more people to be involved, and as such, more people who can get hurt if things aren’t handled properly. Communication is the most important factor in a Poly relationship. Well, any relationship, actually. Allow me to share a personal story from my recent past as an example. 

  

Once upon a time, your Joshie had been engaged, and had a live-in fiancé. For the privacy of those involved, we’ll call him Joey. After being with Joey for several months, I met his friend, Andy. There was an instant attraction to him, and lust as well. I was compelled to know what it was like to sleep with him. Having known Andy for years, and also having slept with him himself, Joey actually talked to Andy about it, and gave his blessing if it was something Andy wanted to pursue as well. Andy did, and we arranged to get together. I had Andy in my room, while Joey hung out in the living room. Instead of it being torrid and passionate sex, Andy and I ended up talking, while nude. He shared some of his past, feelings, and insecurities. I offered physical and emotional comfort. We did end up getting off, but it was more love-making than just the sex we’d initially both intended. That’s where trouble started. Andy and I started hanging out, and going out on unofficial dates. Despite the fact I still came home every night, Joey got jealous, as this wasn’t what I had asked for, or he’d initially agreed to. I couldn’t help myself, it wasn’t lust, it was love I was feeling. It was that exciting, new, anything can happen love, and Joey wasn’t having it. In hindsight, I see where he was coming from. His jealousy, and possible insecurities, eventually drove Andy from my bed, heart, and life. Those who’ve read Pride Post – Suicidal Tendencies, located here – https://gaygeekgab.com/2015/07/08/pride-post-suicidal-tendencies/ , this is the relationship I wrote of. I was as devastated as I’d ever been, and didn’t see how I could ever repair the damage I’d suffered. Joey was still there to help me pick up the pieces, which made me feel like an ass to have my fiancé help me grieve over the loss of my lover, especially as he’d triggered it, but it was what it was. The ordeal with Andy had taught me something about myself, in that I was able to love two people in similar, yet different ways. After a few months, we were able to open up a dialogue about our relationship, and what we wanted from it. We determined that as our love had survived that, there was still something missing, and we set out to find ourselves a third, or possibly a second for each of us. Our relationship ended, as while searching for another, we neglected to work on the relationship we were already in. 

Getting back to my original point, there’s no option for Polyamorous on the sites/apps I’ve used. You can say you’re widowed, but not that you’re Poly. The closest they have is “It’s Complicated”, but that sounds more like you fell for your ex’s brother or something. Having been able to admit to myself that maybe I’m not just looking for Mr. Right, but possibly Mr. & Mr. Right, I’ve noticed more people out there waiving their Poly flag high. This flies in direct contrast to the hetero-normative monogamy that I touched on earlier. It almost feels like as Poly people we need to come out yet again, but as Brian Kinney teaches us, unless it’s your dick I’m sucking, then it’s none of your goddam business. At the same time, the only way for any group or people to gain acceptance is through exposure and visibility. As long as everyone is consenting adults, I think relationships fall under the Wiccan Rede of do what you will, but harm none. I don’t do religion, but I live my life doing right by the people I meet, by my morale compass. Whatever category you currently or previously fit in, just know you’re loved, and will find it in your life exactly as you are. We’re out there. You do not need to sacrifice yourself to make others happy. Do what is right for you, and those you love. Everything else is gravy. Until next time, stay geeky, and keep gabbing! 

  

Handheld Hits – Final Fantasy Explorers, Part 2

  
By Joshie Jaxon 

Greetings, geek fans! I was going to update my original post, but realized that I was going to be adding a lot of important details and visuals, so I decided to create part two. Don’t worry, all the goodness of part one is still available. In fact, if you need a refresher on the basics, allow me to link it for you. 

Handheld Hits – Final Fantasy Explorers, Part 1

Now that you’re caught up, let the geeks begin! 

  
Alrighty, first item of business, the Monster Lab. As previously mentioned, as you defeat certain enemies, you gain their essence in the form of an atmalith. Take that atmalith to the lab, and for a fee, they’ll create a monster for you. The most expensive monster I’ve come across so far is 17,500 Gil, which isn’t all that bad after playing though hours of quests, or grinding for materials. The monsters themselves have their own abilities, and can level up, making them stronger. You can take up to three companions, depending on the size of their load. Not like that! There isn’t monster jizz or anything like that going on. Although, that is something the Japanese are jokingly known for. Load is the unit of measurement of the monster’s size. Again, not like that. Shockingly. Smaller, weaker, creatures have a load of 100, so you could take three, as your max is 300. However, creatures like say, Chocobos, have a load of 200, so you can bring one, and something smaller like say, Cactuar. There are two monsters I’ve seen so far that have a full load. Yeah, that time it was intentional. Black Knight, and Tonberry are deadly, and don’t want anyone else cramping their style. As they level up, they get ridiculously strong. I’ve got my knight at level 42, and he does some of the heavy lifting when taking on Eidolons. 

  
Speaking of the Eidolons, I’ve finally encountered, battled, and captured some. Yes, I said captured. At a certain point in the game, Cid decides that you’re skilled enough to handle magicite. Magicite allows you to enter trance, and summon the strength of either a classic Final Fantasy character, or an Eidolon. After you pass the test, you’re given a few magicite crystals from the wandering Moogle. Since those are the gimmies, I equipped Cloud, which grants the trance crystal surge of his signature move, Omnislash. When you trigger the ability in battle, you don’t just perform the move yourself, you become the character, and battle as them until the trance time expires. Now, as far as the Eidolons, you can equip them the same as Cloud and the others, which allows you to perform their attack, like Hellfire or Diamond Dust. I personally have yet to use them myself, as I really love being able to use Omnislash without waiting until disc 4 of FF VII. That being said, you don’t just gain the summon creatures. You have to battle them, and before defeating them, you have to trigger the Encase ability. If your Tonberry/Black Knight/etc knocks them out, you have to go back and battle them all over again. That can be a bit of a pain, especially with the later Eidolons like Odin and his one hit KO, Zantetsuken. 

  
Another item that I briefly touched on in part one was the job system. As you advance through your missions, more jobs become available. Like the airship and magicite, you have to prove your worth for some, while others are unlocked by completing certain tasks. For example, the Beastmaster job is made available after you’ve created 20 different monsters in the lab. Beastmaster’s special ability makes it easier to get atmaliths, and continue to grow your monster army. The Thief job allows you to steal items from your opponents, making it easier to create certain items. Now, speaking of item crafting, there are some excellent options available. You can get classic character signature outfits, such as Sephiroth, Cloud, Vaan, Yuna, Lightning, etc. One thing I don’t like is that the outfits are gender-locked, so your male character can’t wear Yuna attire, or your female couldn’t be Sephiroth. It won’t even give you a preview. Not that I’m necessarily into cross dressing, which for the record, was a MAJOR plot point in FF VII, but they could have made a male/female friendly version of these pieces. What if you’re a strong independent black woman who don’t need no Moogle, but you feel like dressing like the one-winged angel? Well, sorry, peaches, you can’t. It just seems like a stupid place to draw the line. Seriously, are they saying it’s demeaning for the men to dress in the clothes that are fine if you have boobs and no penis? Are the ladies somehow too inferior to be able to pull off Squall’s look? I think not, but I’m a writer, not a game designer, so my hands are tied. 

  
There’s still more that we need to cover, such as Streetpass, plot, notepad, monster fusion and more, but for now, I’m gonna call it a post. Until next time, stay geeky, and keep gabbing! 

Disney Dynasty – The Cookie Carnival 

  

By Joshie Jaxon 

Greetings, geek fans! Today I’ll be sharing one of my all time favorite Silly Symphonies. I adore cartoons like this one. Any time we get to see objects anthropomorphized, and doing comedic things, I’m in. Oddly, I’m not all that enthralled with the Toy Story franchise. That’s neither here nor there. The Cookie Carnival is from 1934, making it 82 years old, and it still holds up nicely. There are a few questionable choices, but given how the country was at the time, I’ll forgive them, but it won’t stop me from pointing them all out. Classic cartoons like this are what I live for, and we’re gonna break this one down like no other. Let the geeks begin! 

We open with a marching band of cookie men. It’s time for Cookie Town’s beauties on parade. To save explaining later, the entire world is made of cookies and treats. We good? Alright. There’s a chorus singing, here they come, freshly baked, covered with spice and candy flake, marching along in this parade, at the cookie carnival. I know it’s supposed to be just a cute song, but if these contestants were freshly baked, either they’re “special” cookies, or they just popped out of the oven. Either way, weird. Who’s making them? Animal crackers pull the first float into view, and we see Miss Peppermint. She’s serving up candy cane couture, and looks great. Isn’t a cookie though. Maybe the next one. Cookie penguins pull in Miss Cocoanut, serving up Eskimo realness, in coconut shavings. She could be a cookie under there. Next entry, in her banana peel car, Miss Banana Cake. Category is – is that hair gel, eleganza. She looks more like a bu-cake-ee, if you ask me. Groan all you want, there’s more perversion to come. Pun intended. Next up is Miss Strawberry Blonde, in her strawberry shortcake layered hoop skirt, and strawberry headpiece on her blonde hair. Get it? Moving on. The float behind her is Miss Peach, but it cuts away before we can see her. Sorry ’bout it. The next entry was the affirmative action entry for the parade. It’s Miss Licorice, pulled by her three black stereotypes. She’s serving up short skirt, head wrapped, not racist for it’s day, realness. Normally, I like to only have one picture a paragraph, so it’s my writing, not the visuals that take center stage, however, you have to see these pageant queens, so I’m going to include them all. You’re welcome. 

  

  

  

  

  

Now, during all of that Sugar Ball extravaganza, the song also let us know that they are going to be crowning a cookie queen. The Eskimo is the only one that might, MIGHT, be an actual cookie. Anyhow, we see a hobo cookie walking down the candy cane train tracks, whistling. He hears a homely looking cookie girl crying, and spiffs up to go introduce himself. You’re a hobo, and she’s a Cinderella style hot mess. Why are you trying to look impressive? He asks her why she’s so sad. She says she wants to be in the parade, but doesn’t have any pretty clothes to wear. She could enter as Miss Test Cookie. You know, the one that probably isn’t good, but lets you perfect things so the rest turn out alright. I’m assuming, that is. We always ate the cookie dough growing up, and it rarely made it to cookie form. 

  

Hobo Higgins decides he’s going to turn Cookie Doolittle into the cookie queen. First he grabs some nearby taffy, plops it on her head, and styles it up real nice. Next, he grabs a cupcake, turns it upside down, and uses the wrapper as the foundation for the dress. A nearby marshmallow is used as a powderpuff. What happens next is the most awesome piece of vintage cartoon innocence that Joshie totally takes out of context and makes into something dirty ever. Hobo Higgins grabs an eclair, and proceeds to squirt the creme filling all over Cookie Doolittle to make her dress. Yes, I’m serious. Yes, I’m giggling. Yes, I’m going to show it. In a second. Next he does the same with some jelly-filled, to give the dress a little color. He adds a purple bow in the back, and sprinkles candy hearts along the dress. Finally, he rubs his thumb on a candy heart, and uses it as blush on her cheeks, before having her kiss it to get the perfect heart-shaped lips. With her makeover complete, he eats the heart, and uses a lollipop to show her how pretty she is. It’s so good that Hobo Higgins came along. Lord knows that in 1934 a woman couldn’t do anything on her own, let alone give herself a makeover with nearby materials. Nope, without him, Cookie Doolittle would have just sat there crying as her eggs dried up. Assuming there were eggs in her recipe. 

  

Back at the parade we see Miss Pineapple Upside Down Cake pass by, as the judges shake their heads, and cross off her name on their boards. Lil Pound Cake must have been shown while we were witnessing the makeover. Another entry we can’t see passes by and they cross her off too. At least make them lip sync for her lives! We see the tail end of Miss Orange Crush’s float, followed by a muffin with a sign saying The End. Hobo Higgins shoves him out of the way, making Cookie Doolittle the final entry. Though, given the fact the judges have clipboards with the contestants on them, tells me she shouldn’t be eligible. They see her, and are all gagging on her eleganza; her cookie is on fire! They declare her the queen, and their judges booth breaks. All three run up to her, shoving Hobo Higgins aside. He’s then trampled by the Cookie Town crowd. The chorus starts singing about hailing the cookie queen. They march her to the layer cake at what I’ll assume is the center of town. They unroll a jelly roll from bottom to top to act as the red carpet. After seating her on the throne, and crowning her, they immediately declare that the queen must have a King. Cause again, 1934 and a woman can’t do Jack unless she’s got a man to help her along, in case there’s some thinking to do. I don’t know if cookie queen is their ruler, or if it’s strictly a pageant thing like at homecoming, but given what comes next, I’m gonna assume that it’s a ruling position, not just a fun title. 

  

The judges say that the candy-dates, yay, puns!, are waiting, and they have no time to lose. They raise the curtain, and tell her to pick any one she chooses. I don’t know why she needs to have a man right this minute. Perhaps if they see an unescorted woman in power too long, it might give the others ideas, and we can’t have that. On with the men! Each candy-date gets a song to plead their case. Don’t worry, I’ll be showing all of them too. First up, the Dandy Candy Kids. They have cookie faces, and candy cane limbs. They sing about how she’s won their heart, and if she’s smart, she’ll pick one of them. Next up, the Old Fashioned Cookies, like mother used to bake. She’s the only girl they love, and suggest she give one of them a break. Um, she was just crowned, and you know nothing of her. How can you love her already? Whatever. Next up, the Angel Food Cake, they want it understood that she should marry one of them, because they are so good. I swear these two are supposed to be gay. They have soft voices, and skirt style outfits. Maybe I’m reading too much into it. Then again, they did curtsy at the end. Next, in direct contrast to the prior act, Devil’s Food Cake. They’re naughty, but they’re nice. They’re nice, and naughty. Yeah, man! We get it, Bro, you’re straight. Next up, the Upside Down Cakes. Although they’re topsy-turvy, they’re head over heels in love. Again, how can they love her? During their act, Hobo Higgins is chased by the guards, and hides under the stage. The final act is the Jolly Rum Cookies. The have the hiccups, and with each one, they end up swapping noses. Cookie Doolittle giggles, and shakes her head no. The judges say they’ve tried their best to find her a King, and wonder what to do. Each one suggests they be the one to marry her. Then one says maybe she should marry all three. It’s like old school Mormonism, but with cookies, and multiple husbands instead of sister wives. It’s cookie lust, I swear. They know what her dress is made of, know she’s into bu-cake-ee, and want to party. Pervs! 

  

  

  

  

  

   

As the judges are busy trying to convince Cookie Doolittle to marry them, Hobo Higgins has been sneaking up under the jelly roll to escape the guards. Which, if they hadn’t been so desperate for a queen, would know that he’s the one who was pulling her in the parade. The guards smack him on the head, as he emerges, turning his hat into a crown. The jelly roll breaks, looking like a royal cloak. You see where this is going. Cookie Doolittle speaks up and tells them not to crown the King that way. They all immediately start cheering for their King, cause they’re raging hypocrites. The citizens of Cookie Town start partying in the streets. There’s a candle shining though colored lollipops. Donuts dunking themselves in coffee. They’re kinky like that. Miss Jello is shaking like it’s nobodies business. Or it’s the palsy. Hobo Higgins and Cookie Doolittle share a smooch. Realize they can be seen, and put up a clear lollipop to shield them. Their next kiss melts it. Dirty cookies. 

   

You’re welcome to watch it for yourselves, so you know I’m not making any of it up. The one question left unanswered, is that if Hobo Higgins has such great makeover skills, why does he wander around like a bum? Be a pageant consultant. The year he lost, was to some Lady Fingers the judges liked. You can’t beat that. Yes, I went there. Until next time, stay geeky, and keep gabbing! 

  

Looney Legacy – Wearing of the Grin

  

By Joshie Jaxon 

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, geek fans! This a joyous post. Not just because it gives me an excuse to watch my Looney Tunes DVDs, but today marks the one year anniversary of Gay Geek Gab! I know! Can you believe it? A year already, and the FCC hasn’t shut us down. Either I’m not pushing the envelope far enough, or society has jaded to the point that I’m no longer the radical I think I am. Perhaps some more extreme language will get some attention. Fuck yeah! No? Sigh. Fine, I’ll stay the lovable, dirty in the best way, blogger that you’ve come to know and love. I would like to thank Bevianna and Bri Bones for all their work behind the scenes. I said crushed ice, you incompetent- oh, yeah, the speech typer-thing was still going. Damn. Where’s the delete key? No, not for the whole site. Ingrates! I’ll deal with you later. Where was I? Oh yes, I was about to start my St. Patrick’s Day post with another entry into our currently lacking, but not for long, Looney Legacy. Halloween was all about Bugs vs Dracula, with Bugs being the obvious winner. St. Patrick’s Day we’ll focus on Porky Pig, and his encounter with some leprechauns. Let the geeks begin!

  

In mother Ireland, yes, your Joshie is Irish, Porky is traveling. Why do I always pick the ones where the character is traveling? Oh well. There’s a sign that reads “Sure, and it’s still 12 miles to Dublin Town”. Which isn’t funny unless you read it in the intended accent. Porky says he’ll never make it in this storm. Um, you’re carrying baggage, for who knows how long, and the last 12 miles is where you draw the line? Sure, pig. He thinks maybe he could stay at the nearby, but not really, cause it’s on a mountain, why a fat pig would choose an inclined plane rather than flat road is beyond me, wow this is a long sentence, castle that’s nearby. Cause that worked out so well for Brad and Janet. Castles don’t have phones, bacon bits. Kidding, he doesn’t want a phone, he’s just hoping for lodging. On the way up to the castle, there’s another sign, this one reads, “Beware the leprechauns”. Luau scoffs at the very idea of leprechauns, and continues up to the castle, blasting his ham hocks with every step. Hey, he doesn’t wear pants for a reason. He doesn’t do stairs for his ass not to be seen. Anyhow, he reaches the castle and uses the shamrock shaped knocker. Since no one answered, naturally, he lets himself in, concluding they must be asleep. It’s not breaking, but you just entered, Pork Chop. 

   

In the darkness we see a silhouette, before a match is lit, and a ginger man, glad in green, including hat, with a pipe, lights a match, and candle. He says sure and his name is Seamus O’Toole, caretaker of old Clarey castle he is. Moo Shu Pork says he’d like a room for the night. Seamus asks if he’s daft, saying the only living things there are the leprechauns. Pork Pie breaks the fourth wall, gesturing at Seamus and saying “leprechauns”. He then orders Seamus to take his bags to a room, calling him a picturesque peasant caretaker of the old sod. Um, Pork Ribs, you just entered his place, without permission, and are now demanding to stay there? I don’t recall you offering to pay. Must’ve left your wallet in your other pants, eh? He slams the door closed, and a spiked mace falls on his head. It he weren’t a toon, he’d be dead. Unintentional rhyme. Seamus separates at the waist, and runs over to check on the unconscious pig. Meanwhile, arms pop out of his pants, and an identical person, but with black hair, comes running over to join him. Black hair, O’Mike, says he’s a fat one. Ginger, O’Pat, calls him a bundle of suet. Fun Tidbit #1, suet is the hard fat around beef/mutton loins and kidneys. O’Mike says they need to hide the pot of gold, and lifts his hat revealing it, before running around like a loon. O’Pat asks him to stop, wait, whoa, and wait a minute before shouting at his running friend, who has the sense to look embarrassed by his actions. Ginger says he’s the chief of the leprechauns, and he alone will decide what to do with the intruder. The two merge back by getting on top of each other, and go help Pork Rinds to his feet, stating they’ll get him to a nice soft bed. O’Mike passes the bags up to O’Pat, and they follow Pork & Beans up the stairs. 

  

  

At said stairs, ginger uses the railing while blacky takes the stairs proper. They go their separate ways at the top, with the legs staying with Porky. When he gets to the room, he tells Seamus to put the bags down anywhere. He then passes his coat and hat to O’Mike, who hasn’t emerged from the lower torso. I’d call Porky stupid, but he did just suffer a blow to the head. On his way to bed, O’Mike stops in front of him, asking if he’s seen his lower half about. Porky points behind him, and comments how some people can’t keep track of their lower halves. It dawn on him what he said, and what he’s seen, and he turns to see both halves of Seamus. Isn’t this sight enough to set the heart crossways in you? Don’t worry, google doesn’t know what it means either. Porky exclaims “leprechauns!” while hiding under the covers on the bed. Big mistake. The bed tilts back into the wall, and sends Porky down a tunnel, dropping him in a chair. O’Mike enters, carrying a shillelagh, and says leprechaun court of O’Shaughnasee township, county of Rourke O’Hoolihan is now in session. Fun Tidbit #2, the writers clearly went for the most irish sounding things they could think of, cause having leprechauns alone, and being outside Dublin, wasn’t enough to convey a location and it’s people. Fun Tidbit #3, I’m really not that PC, I just find it amusing. It’s the little people vs Porky Pig, whose name they shouldn’t know, cause he never gave it, for attempting to steal the pot of gold, which is sitting on a table as exhibit A. Porky tries to object, and is called a blatherskite, and told to be silent. Fun Tidbit #4 Blatherskite needs to come back into main stream language. I remember it from Gizmo Duck on DuckTales, but after looking it up, I wanna use it more. O’Pat is the presiding judge. He takes one look at Porky and says he’s guilty as the day is long. Porky protests, demanding a fair trial. Um, you aren’t in America, boyo, this is leprechaun justice! I sentence you to the wearing of the green shoes! No, seriously. That’s his punishment. Green shoes, that clash with his, pants? Never mind. 

  

Once he’s in the green shoes, Porky says the nicest shoes ever. That is, of course, until they turn him into an Irish stepdancer against his will. As he dances his way out of the courtroom, the leprechauns laugh. We see Porky dancing in front of a giant pot of gold. Coins erupt from it, and have O’Pat and O’Mike’s laughing faces on them. Porky dances further away, and tries to pull the shoes off, which he does, throwing them past a shamrock plant. Magic isn’t undone that easily, little piggy. The shoes chase him down, trying to get back on his feet. As he flees, he goes through a field of pipes. Not Mario pipes, smoking pipes. I’m surprised there wasn’t a field of beer. Fun Tidbit #5, not all Irish people smoke and/or drink. Just sayin’. Porky runs up some stairs, and passes between two harps. Final Fun Tidbit, ’tis the harp, and not the shamrock, that is the actual symbol of Ireland. Anyhow, Porky jumps, and the shoes jump after him. Being a toon, Porky runs vertically on air to escape, falls in a pipe, and comes out the other end as smoke, before re-forming. He grabs a giant harp, and it shrinks to fit his wrists like handcuffs. Emerald Isle, bitch! The shoes kick him in his shapely ass, and he lands in them, only to begin dancing once more. In fact, it dances him right off another cliff, and into a golden liquid in a pot. Now, I’m sure they were going for liquid gold, not golden showers, but you never know with Warner Bros. We fade to Porky flopping about at the castle entrance in a puddle. Don’t worry, O’Pat and O’Mike weren’t taking turns, it’s water. He’s holding a bucket and everything. Perfectly innocent. Porky wakes up, screams, and launches himself above the door, saying he doesn’t want the pot of gold. Seamus hasn’t a clue. Porky says he sentenced him to wear the green shoes. Seamus asks why he’d do such a daft thing. He offers Porky rest in a soft bad. Porky says he must be going. He’s late for an appointment, with his psychiatrist. Porky takes off like a shot, as O’Pat and O’Mike shake hands. Credits! 

  

There you have it, lads n lassies, our 1 year anniversary commemorative post. Thank you to everyone that’s been with us since the beginning, and those who’ve joined along the way. We don’t just do this for ourselves, we do it for you. Until next time, stay geeky, and keep gabbing! 

Marvel Civil War – Part 1

  

By Joshie Jaxon 

Greetings, geek fans! With the new Captain America Civil War trailer released, I’m more excited than ever for this movie to come out. In the interim, I decided to dive back into my graphic novels, and re-read the comic arc that the upcoming movie is based on. Like any movie based on a book, even a comic book, there will be changes and omissions from the original story. You can do anything on paper, but the reality of funding and casting the full story in the MCU would need a few billion dollars, and two parts, just to do it justice. Those who are only familiar with the MCU, are in for a treat, as this is one of the richest, and most thought-provoking stories Marvel has done. Let the geeks begin! 

  

As I’ve stated before, most of my comic experience is in the Spider-Man and X-Men area. I only dabbled in the rest of the comic universe during various crossover events like Maximum Carnage, Onslaught, House of M, etc. So, I may not know all of the details of the heroes as a whole, but I know bits and pieces. I say this, because I may comment on something without backstory, and I don’t want to be read for it. Anyhow, in the road to the civil war, several events take place. Anthony “Tony” Stark travels to Washington D.C. with Peter Parker to discuss the legislation of the superhuman registration act. While there, the Titanium Man attacks after a meeting that was so secret, no one else was even supposed to know about it. Peter battles the Titanium Man in his Iron Spider outfit, which some people hated, but I actually enjoyed. Titanium Man gets away, and as Tony appears before the hearing committee again, Spider-Man shows footage of the fight, and tells them that if heroes identities were known, their families would be in danger from such attacks as well. The only way the government will allow his testimony is if he takes off the mask, and swears it under oath. Having Aunt May and Mary Jane to think about, he declines. Tony later thanks Peter for his effort, and Peter questions how Titanium Man even knew about the meeting. He doesn’t quite call Tony on setting things up to go his way, but it’s heavily implied. Later, we the audience see Iron Man paying Titanium Man for his services. Peter, exhausted, falls asleep watching tv as there’s news about an incident in Connecticut, leading to… 

  

Civil War, Issue 1
  

I’ve often said that reality tv will be the death of us as a people. This is no exception. In Stamford Connecticut, the New Warriors are busy filming their reality show. They’ve found Cobalt Man, Coldheart, Speedfreak, and Nitro. As Speedball gets the intel, Microbe says they’re out of their league. Speedball says it’ll be their biggest ratings for season two. Sadly, before they can take action, Coldheart sees them, and goes to warn the other villains that it’s a raid. The New Warriors attack, and Speedball cracks a few jokes since they’re still being filmed. Coldheart recognizes them from their show, not their unfilmed heroic deeds, and talks a little trash. Night Thrasher takes objection to being called a bondage queen, and asks for an edit. Meanwhile, Nitro is getting away. Namorita isn’t worried, and takes off after him. She slams Nitro into a bus, and tells him not to bother with explosions, as she’ll just hit him harder. He tells her that they aren’t the losers she’s used to, and that they’re playing with the big boys. Nitro then explodes, taking out more than a block, including a school full of children. Damn!

  

Next scene, Captain America, Iron Man, Falcon, the Fantastic Four, X-Men, Ms. Marvel and more are helping with the clean up, and body recovery. Cap is clearly upset that so many children were killed. Tony says the whole country saw the tape of Speedball saying it was all for ratings. Meanwhile, Marvel Girl, Rachel Summers, is using her telekinetic powers to lift ruble off some of the survivors. Goliath says they won’t just be after mutants now. After the Hulk trashed Vegas, and Wolverine threatened to kill the president, this will be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. On CNN She-Hulk says banning heroes while there are thousands of super villains in the world is impossible. She doesn’t see issue with them being trained and carrying badges though. 

At the Stamford memorial, a grieving mother gets Tony’s attention, only to spit in his face. He tells her he had nothing to do with what happened. She calls him on his shit, saying he’s the one who funds the Avengers with his blood money, and encourages people with powers to be vigilantes. Her Damien’s blood is on Tony’s hands. In the crowd, J Jonah Jamison is making sure Peter is getting pictures of this. Another CNN report says that their powers can be like nuclear weapons, and asks if they should be tested before being allowed to work in people’s communities. 

  

New York City club scene. The Human Torch is apologizing to his date for being late, swearing that he was saving orphans from a burning building. Sure, Johnny. Now try to sell her the Brooklyn Bridge. Mr. Storm cuts to the front of the line and is told Paris and Lindsey are already inside. The crowd gets mad, since as “normies” they have to wait. Johnny says next time they stop Galactus, he’ll let them use his club pass. Someone asks about the next time he kills kids. Another says he shouldn’t be strutting around, he should be hiding in shame. Johnny says he has nothing to do with Speedball or the New Warriors, and calls them C-List, tops. Someone calls him a baby killer, and a bottle gets smashed on poor Johnny’s head. The crowd holds him down, and beats on him. That’ll teach him to cut in line. 

A news report states the Human Torch is just another of a series of attacks on the New York super hero community. In the Baxter Building of the Fantastic Four, Avengers young and old, the FF, some X-Men and others are wondering what will happen next. Dr. Strange asks if he’ll be forced to be a federal employee, or risk a warrant for his arrest. Dr. Richards says that Strange is one they’re hoping to seek compromise with. Wasp wonders if they’ll be turned into civil servants, with vacation and pensions. Iron Man asks them why they shouldn’t be held accountable to the public. Patriot of the Young Avengers wonders if they should go on strike. That’s cute, sweetie, but grown-ups are talking. Iron Man says that Stamford was a wake up call, and that being public employees makes sense if it will help people sleep. Falcon says he doesn’t want to be turned into a super cop. Yellow Jacket says he’s surprised heroes have been tolerated this long. Spider-Man says that if everyone is forced to work for Uncle Sam, some of them may just hang up their tights. Sue Storm states they’ve always been public, and never had a problem. Daredevil says this is the end of they way they’ve done business, he can smell it in the air. 

  

SHIELD Hellicarrier. Agent Hill tells Captain America that right now twenty-three of his friends are meeting to discuss how super people will respond to the president’s solution. Cap doesn’t want to judge. Hill says they’ll never be close like he and Fury, but he needs to respect the badge. Cap thinks the plan with split them down the middle, and put them at war with each other. An agent questions why heroes wouldn’t want to be trained and paid. Another asks how many rebels there would be. Hill asks if it’s anyone major. Cap replies people like Daredevil and Luke Cage. Hill states that’s no one he can’t handle. The proposal goes to vote in two weeks, and could be law in a month. The Avengers need to be out there with Cap leading them. Cap refuses. He’s not going to arrest the very people who put their lives on the line for their country. Hill tells him to obey the will of the people. Cap says heroes need to stay above politics, or Washington telling them who the villains are. Hill says the villains are the ones in masks, refusing to obey the law. Several guns are cocked, and Cap realizes he’s surrounded. He says that masked heroes have been a part of the country for as long as anyone can remember. Hill replies that he needs to go legitimate. Cap orders them to put their weapons down. Hill says he isn’t in charge, she is, and orders the agents to try and tranq Cap. He uses a SHIELD agent as a, well, shield, and fights his way out. It’s very Winter Soldier movie scene. Hill orders all agents to stop him. Cap busts out a window, lands on an incoming jet, and uses it to escape. 

  

Back at the Baxter Building, Spider-Woman asks who the big bald guy is. Dr. Strange says that he’s the Watcher, not like Giles was a watcher, but he’s the sort that comes to record moments of great change and upheaval. Him being there doesn’t bode well. 

Outside the White House, a crowd has gathered with “guns are licensed, why not powers” and “justice for Damien” signs. Um, Damien isn’t the only kid who died, but let’s just focus on him. Sure, we’ll go with that. No one’a pain matters but yours. Also, you can’t license a natural ability, or one you got by accident. There’s no way to stop something that you have no way of giving up, or giving away. You aren’t on a three day waiting list to pick up your super powers because of the Damien bill. Stupid, ignorant, masses jealous of what they can’t have for themselves. Inside the White House, we hear the story of Cap taking the pilot out for a burger after they landed. The president says with Cap going underground, anyone who disagrees with the registration act now has a figurehead. Stark says to continue as planned, and leave Captain America to them. 

  

There you have it, ladies and gents, the opening issue of the Marvel Civil War. To borrow their promotional phrase, Whose side are you on? I know where I stand, but I want to know your thoughts. Until next time, stay geeky, and keep gabbing!